


Curiosity killed the cat...

by Ilyasviel



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Incest, Loki being Loki, M/M, Memory Magic, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sibling Incest, Thorki is life, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, happy boys, non too explicit smut, smut scene is in the past, the worse lie is the one you told to yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 19:55:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15915159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ilyasviel/pseuds/Ilyasviel
Summary: ... but satisfaction brought it back to life.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mending with Thor's memories haven't been on Loki's plans for the day, but hiding in a closet from Hulk hasn't been either. But the memory he unveils brought some feelings to the surface that neither of them was ready to accept...





	Curiosity killed the cat...

**Author's Note:**

> The Thorki virus is still strong in me xDDDDD can't fight it (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)
> 
> This little story has born from my need to write some smut and then morphed into this fluffy piece... (*´ω｀)o dang, now I will need to star another one T_T a pity, huh? XD
> 
> As always, if you are not into Thorki, please, close the tab and keep scrolling until you found something you like. Don't bring your hate to my house (҂⌣̀_⌣́) in this house we are multishipers and open minded, thank you very much XDDD
> 
> Aaaaand for the rest of us! Please, enjoy my little fic and let me know what you think! It is unbetaed and English is not my first language, all the typos are mine to bear. If you found one and want to let me know, I will correct it gladly ❤

“He is not here, Big Guy. Stop opening doors!” 

 

A growl preludes the deep voice of Hulk, which echoes in the enclosed space of the Statesman’s hallways, “Puny God can’t be trusted!”

 

Valkyrie, who has been doing the same thing for the last week rolls her eyes at her friend, “You know I didn’t trust Lackey, but Thor does it, and we must give him a chance to prove us wrong, right? And I can assure you, your pursuing is not helping! He looks ready to jump through the closest hatch every time he saw you. Give him some space, Big Guy. He looks changed, and if Heimdall and Thor want to give him freedom, we must respect it.”

 

“But--”

 

The sound of a slap cuts the answer, “Come on now, you big green hardheaded. Drinks are on me.” 

 

Their retreating steps reaches the shadowed figure hiding inside a built-in closet. Loki lies still as long as he can, his breath caught in his chest since they have walked close by his hiding spot. At last, the echoes of their steps disappears, and Loki breathes deeply, leaning his forehead on the wall in front of him. How in Hel has he ended closed in a giant spaceship with one of his nightmare’s sources? One he has proclaimed himself his guardian and shadows him every waking minute? He was still sighing to his predicament when hurried steps broke the silence of the corridor. Loki stops breathing again, the green oaf was back so soon? Not even his magic can save him from Hulk, the monster has a second sense to know where he was heading when he teleports he is close to him when he does it, and so he has opted for the old methods, hide and wait.

 

After a second of the hammering sound piercing his nerves, they come to a stop in front of his hiding spot, and Loki’s head fall again to the wall, he’s been caught again. But then, the door opens, blinding him briefly with the white light of the corridor before someone enters the closet and close the door. The newcomer can’t be Hulk, the big oaf can’t sneak inside this little spaces, but it was an imposing figure, nonetheless. Loki blinked twice, letting his eyes get accustomed to the darkness again. To his surprise, the newcomer didn’t make him uncomfortable. His energy, because he can say is a _‘he’_ , is something he recognises, and a few heartbeats later, his mouth whispers the name, “Thor…”

 

For a moment, Thor stirs, his eyes searching for the source, until his eye lands on Loki’s form, mere inches away from him, “Brother! What are you doing here?”

 

“What do you think?  I’m not cleaning, that's for sure.”

 

If they had more light, Thor will have seen his brother rolling his eyes, but he knows him well enough to hear it in his voice. “ Hiding then. Sorry for stealing your spot, brother.”

 

“And who are you hiding from? Because--” 

 

Thor breaks his discourse pushing himself deeper in the closet when the sound of light steps reach them. He pushes them as far from the door as possible until they are standing chest to chest on the farthest corner of the closet. The pursuer stops in front of the closet, opening it a heartbeat later just after Loki cast a shadow spell over them. Neither breath while the woman stands at the door, surrounded by bright light while she looks inside, her huff of resignation preceding the closing of the door. With a soft sigh, Thor lets his head fall onto his brother’s shoulder, his body arching as much as possible to give his brother some space. “By the Norns, she is persistent.”

 

Loki is grateful for the surrounding darkness, because he fears even his usually obnoxious brother will notice his blushed face, “Why is Fulla pursuing you?”

 

Now is Loki’s time to notice his brother blushing. The warm of his skin near Loki’s skin making goosebumps appear everywhere. “That woman is trying to throw every young and able Asgardian over me. In her own words, it seems I need to get laid to  feel like my old self again. Can’t you believe it? I’m a god and a king, and an old nanny seems to think I can’t find my own partners? Really, I have thousand years!”

 

A soft giggle escapes Loki control, and he tries to hide it, to no avail, his brother is too close to not notice it. Thor pinches his side, making him giggle harder, “Sorry, brother. We may have a thousand years and fought hundreds and hundreds of battles, but  look at us right now. Two gods hiding in a closet on their own ship.”

 

They snort together, seeing the hilarious situation as what it is, ridiculous. When the nervous laugh dies on their lips, Thor closes the distance to Loki, his strong arms wrapping him like a warm blanket, “Whatever the reason, I’m happy to have found you here. I haven’t seen you since we decided our course.”

 

Loki, who is still trying to get used to this new Thor who was as quick of giving hugs and soft touches as to slap him when he mischiefs, just lets himself take it for once, relaxing on the secure grasp of his brother. “If you haven’t noticed, our green friend has decided to be my shadow every waking second of my day. He still thinks I will blow up the ship or something.”

 

Thor buries his head on Loki’s neck, his breath caressing the skin when he talks, “I’m sorry. I’ll talk to him. I didn’t want it to make you uncomfortable--”

 

“What!?” Loki pushes away Thor, but in the narrow closet is not a big far away, his hands moving from Loki’s back to his waist, “This is your doing?”

 

“Yes and no.” Thor shrugs, tilting his head while he thinks in a way to put the words in order, “I may have asked him to  keep an eye on you , but not like this, and not because I don’t trust you. It is just--” He sighs, the sound louder in the silent space, while one of his hands slides up to rest on Loki’s nape, his old gesture of love making the trickster heart melt, “I fear for the day you will leave my side. Right now, after all we have lived and the unknown future, my only real fear is losing you again. So I asked our friends to keep and eye on you.” He rests then his forehead on Loki’s, warm against cold, before closing his eyes, “I can’t lose you again. I know I will not survive it.”

 

The sincerity behind the words makes Loki  bite his tongue , not wanting to hurt his brother more than he seems to be already, “You could have asked, brother. I told you that first night on your quarters, I’m here. I’m not planning to go, even if I know the people didn’t want me here, and the Midgardians will not welcome me with open arms. But you do and your opinion is the only one I care for.”

 

Strong arms find his back again, pulling him closer, too close for Loki’s liking, but Thor seems adamant to take the comfort from him, and so he surrenders, his slender arms wrapping around Thor’s shoulders, a hand playing with the short hair on his nape. Loki can  feel the smile on his brother’s face when his fingers scratch his neck, and he joins him without thinking. It  feels like home as it has always done. The cage of his brother’s arms have never been constraining as the rest of their fellow friends and family, except Frigga, but she barely hugged him on his older years. Thor was like his favourite blanket, the one he used to spend the nights reading in front of the open window, the cold winds of autumn flowing freely around him while the blanket gave him comfort and warmth. Even now, he didn’t understand why he always searches the warmth instead of the cold he must be tied to, thanks to his heritage. 

 

They can dwell too much on the thoughts or the closeness before they heard more steps coming closer. Fulla is talking with someone, who must be Gná, because they are like inseparable twins. “He must be close by. That boy needs to stop running like a headless chicken! Thor needs a partner, I don’t care who!  If his mother was here, she will put some sense in his head.”

 

“Why have you not talked with Loki yet?  I’m sure he can make his brother listen to reason.”

 

The melodic sound of Fulla’s laugh echoes in the hallway, “Oh my dear Gná, Loki is even worse! I’ve been trying to find him a partner since he came of age!  What a pair of princes we have… too preoccupied for the rest of the world and not taking care of themselves.  One day they will see that our happiness is totally related to them. Now let's keep searching. He can’t hide from us forever, at least now we are in a ship and he can’t run from us to the other side of the galaxy.”

 

Their chatting turns unintelligible while they move away from their hiding spot. Loki is the first one to react as soon as the silence surrounds them again. “They are persistent, we can give them that at least.”

 

“Worryingly persistent, if you ask me.”

 

They are still wrapped in the other’s arms, neither of them wanting to break the hug. Loki sighs close Thor’s ear, closing his eyes, “You’ll  get used to it . I’ve done it. But if you can’t  deal with them , I can fake you have a lover inside your room or something like that. I can assure you, it always works, at least for a while.”

 

“That will be awesome, thanks.  But maybe they are right and I need to get laid, it's been a long time.”

 

Loki pulls the baby hair on Thor’s nape making him hiss, “You are being a drama queen, brother. It hasn’t been that long since you _‘mutually dumped’_ Jane Foster.”

 

Thor shrugs, the movement moving Loki’s head with it, “Perhaps mutual is not the word I should use for it. She dumped me, and I agreed to it because she was right. She can’t gave me what I needed and my half-hearted love was killing her.”

 

“What are you talking about, Thor? Everyone talked about how sad you were after the Bifrost broke, how you sighed around the corners for your precious human.”

 

“I will not say I wasn’t sad then, but not just for her.”

 

A growl escapes Loki, and he tries to push his brother away, to no avail, “Come on, brother. We have already talked about it. You have mourned me, but I will not accept being the reason of your heartbreaks.”

 

The pressure around Loki’s body tightens, Thor sinking deeper into the crook of his neck, Loki even can swear that his brother is sniffing his hair, but he pushes the idea aside easily. At least until Thor talks again, “And yet you are. You know what she can’t give me? My heart was already occupied when I met her, but she was a balm to my wounds when we found one another. She was kind but witty, with a sharp mind and a quick tongue. Jane could lose herself in her work, forgetting to sleep or eat, even brushing her hair, and even in those moments, she was sweet, and cute and caring. Her hugs were warm and welcoming, but she will never be the one I craved for.” A strange coldness fills Loki’s heart. How is it possible someone holds his brother’s heart, for a longer time than they have been foes, and he didn’t know a word about it? But Thor didn’t let him talk about it, instead, he keeps whispering against Loki’s collarbone, the darkness of the closet seems to have opened the gates of Thor’s heart. “After two years together after Svartalfheim she asked for some time alone. I can’t say I didn’t deserve it… you know, screaming the name of another while she serviced me was the last drop on an already overflowed glass.”

 

Loki can’t fight against the laugh wanting to be free, and he surrenders to it, the barely contained sound making him tremble on his brother’s arms, “Nors, Thor. I will have stabbed you if I was her.”

 

The next words are barely a whisper, only clear enough thanks to their closeness and the silence of the closet, “I wish you were.” Thor seems to catch the meaning of his own words and tries to disentangle himself from Loki’s arms, but the god of mischief has always been the quickest of the pair, and his arms are caging Thor against the opposite wall in a heartbeat, “Loki…”

 

“Don’t Loki me, brother.” The harsh tone on the last word makes Thor’s heart sink down inside his chest, head lowering to the ground. “Care to explain?”

 

“I prefer not, brother.”

 

Loki’s lips seal in a thick line, his eyes darkening dangerously before the light of his Seidr filled the darkened room, “Fine, then I will find it myself.” Moving as quickly as possible to avoid any reaction from Thor, Loki rested the palm of his  hand on Thor’s forehead, extracting the memory with surgical precision, not wanting to steal any memories from him beside the one that started this fire. He doesn’t have to dig too much, the memory is fresh on Thor’s mind. A green fog blinds him before he finds himself standing beside a couch in their Midgardian house. Thor sits on it while she kneels in front of him.  Seeing Jane bobbing her head between Thor’s legs makes him growl, but he forces himself to focus on Thor, The sounds his brother was making... The deep growls, and the gasps, and the short moans, every one of them makes Loki’s stomach twist. Her dark eyes looked up amused, Thor’s response to her ministrations making her  feel powerful. It lasted some minutes, and the show is making Loki slightly uncomfortable, not only for the way he is invading his brother’s memories, also for the response his body is having to them. And then it happened. Thor’s chest heaved, his back arching on the couch, both hands grabbing the armrest with white knuckling force. With the first spur of come, a name slipped his lips. 

 

“Loki--”

 

Not even being focused on the enchantment avoids Loki to gasps loudly inside the wardrobe, his heart pounding like a wild horse, his fingertips sensing Thor’s spiking too. He must have misheard it, right? But he hasn’t broken the link yet, and the memory keeps rolling. In it, Jane stood from between his legs with fire in her eyes, spitting her ire to the still recovering God of Thunder. Thor was muttering _‘I’m sorry’_ again and again while trying to recover his breath, but she didn’t take a single letter of the words, “Enough, Thor.  This has just been the straw that broke the camel's back.  I grew tired of you spilling his name now and then while you are awake, and almost every night while you sleep.  I had enough for a lifetime as it is.”  She walked to the end of the room, tears brightening her eyes but with her head held high. “I’ll come back tomorrow with Darcy to pick up my things. Goodbye, God of Thunder. I hope you find the peace you need.”

 

The sound of the door closing mixed with the sad sigh of Thor. A whispered  _‘Don’t left me behind you too’_ leaves Thor’s mouth, and Loki breaks the connection. The real Thor growls before pushing him away, disentangling himself from a still recovering Loki. The energy of his thunder vibrates on his fingers, his eyes glowing in the darkness. “You have no right, Loki.” He stormed from the closet the next heartbeat, leaving a stunned Loki behind.

 

“What has just happened?” Loki leans against the wall, his head falling on it with a thud while he closes his eyes. His blood is boiling inside him, guilt and something he didn’t want to put a name on flowing freely, making the heartbeats drum in his ears.  Closing his eyes, he tries to calm his raging body. It was not just the adrenaline the fear his brother’s reaction has elicited on him. His body is still trembling from the images the memory has conjured, and Loki’s body weakens, his knees failing him. When he sits on the ground, he notices it at last: his body has reacted to the vision in more ways than he has expected. The uncomfortable tightness on his pants makes him totally aware of how aroused the way his brother has moaned his name has made him. Or the guilty pleasure that has grown inside of him when he has seen Jane leave at last. Or the way his heart has grown inside his chest when he learned how his brother called his names aloud in so many ways. How has his utterly normal morning ended like this? With him having to review his memories of his brother for the last millennia. When has that happened? 

 

He remembers how he has respected his brother while they were growing. Loki looked at him with a mix of awe and respect, being him his opposite in every aspect of life. Thor was loved and respected and it wasn’t undeserved. He was kind and easygoing, with a quick smile and a contagious laugh. His victories are tales of bravery and strength, and Loki, having been there with him in almost all of them, knew for sure they weren’t embellishing it when they share the tale. 

 

In his memories, he found a fondness for his brother he has always related to their closeness, but now he can notice something more. They have been thick as thieves since a young age, the fact of being almost of the same age and lived for years secluded inside the castle simply helped to it. There aren’t many children around to play with besides themselves, and they grow together, almost as twins. One always mirrored the other’s actions. They played, learned and trained together. And then the Warrior three appeared, and everything changed. He stopped being Thor’s shadow, joining him here and there, but not as thick as on their younger days. With that distance came the knowledge of the real differences between them. Thor grew into a man, his muscles developing with every training, skin tanning under the Asgardian sun. Meanwhile Loki seemed to grew slower, his long hours spent on the library only making his natural white skin glow. He has muscles, of course he has them, but he is like half his brother, and never expected to win in a direct combat without cheating or using his Seidr. Loki remembers how they have grown distant over the centuries, but cannot find the exact moment it happened.  It has only been like that way for long years.  They kept trying it, but seeing the way Thor interacted with the rest of the world and how the world reacted to Loki’s presence only made him stay away from him, if only to spare himself the odd looks and the uncomfortable silence that followed him around. 

 

The memories keep flowing, and in them Loki saw a yearning on Thor’s eyes for years, but he always assumed it was because he missed his company, nothing more. And now that he looks closer to his own memories, he sees how he looked at him with more than brotherly respect.  He loved his brother, maybe a bit too much, and over the years it has turned into an obsession to make Thor see him as an equal, or more, make the world see him like an equal, not the secondary dish everyone thought he was.  But now the love is twisting to something different, and he watches surprised as his young self has let his eyes roam for more time than necessary over the naked skin of his brother, hiding it behind a competitive stare, one to measure how much he has to grow to be like him. Now he understands what it has been, manly appreciation of a sculpted God.  Norns, the day is going better and better. 

 

All the thinking has subdued his body at last, the trousers fitting him as loose as ever. With a sigh, he stands from the ground, passing his fingers mindlessly through his hair while he keeps rummaging about what to do. He needs to talk with Thor, that’s for sure, but how? An unmarked frontier has been breached. Loki hasn’t had the right to steal that memory, but he just wanted to know about his brother’s life, thinking he will find the name of a friend or a fellow warrior. Nothing he has lived until today has prepared him for that revelation. And he has taken it by force, stealing from his brother his free will to keep his secrets, violating his trust. “Damn. What have I done?” Loki passes his fingers over his face, growling into his hands. He needs to ask for his forgiveness. They have survived through the flames of Hel, very literally in fact, to end apart again thanks to his stupid actions.  Thor has helped him to see he can be a better man, and instead he has showed him how the old God of Mischief is still there, acting with no care for the other’s feelings.  How can he do it? Will his big hearted brother find the will to forgive him? What can he say to make amends? Another sigh escapes his control.  Thinking of what to say is secondary to find him.  He can always improvise once they are inside the same space and pray that his puppy eyes keep working on his brother. And this is a ship, Thor can’t hide forever, right? With a new purpose, Loki castes an illusion over him and leaves the closet. Time to find the King of Asgard and kneel to ask for his forgiveness.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The trickster’s powers reached dangerously low levels after the long walking around the ship using his illusions.  And even after the few rounds Loki has made around the ship, Thor was nowhere to be seen.  He even tried asking Korg and Heimdall for him, but the former hasn’t seen him since yesterday and the last just raised a brow and turned over his heels, shaking his head in disbelief. He probably knew Thor was hiding from him, and sided with him, as always. 

 

Loki returned to his room, ready to fall on bed face first and let the Loki of tomorrow  deal with it . Once he reaches the hallway of their quarters, he lifts the illusion, groaning at the soreness it left on his body. His door opened when he touched it, feet moving instinctively inside. Loki was almost there when a loud sound behind him startles him. Turning over his shoulder, his senses directing him to the door in front of his, the one designated for Banner if the Hulk decides to take a nap. The big monster can’t even walk the narrow corridor, so it was impossible for him to be there if Banner hasn’t come back. Or perhaps someone has decided to steal from the unused room while the team was doing their customary visits to the communal areas… whatever the case, Loki needs to investigate it. With a low growl, he stepped back into the hallway and walks decidedly to the closed door. “Please, let them be a burglar, one who fights back.” The long walk and unsuccessful search has left him grumpy and ready for battle. His hand didn’t open the door automatically, and he conjures more Seidr around his fingers, letting the power trick the machine until the green light shows on the lock. It opened with a hiss, and the sound reaches him again, louder this time, now that the door is not interrupting it. With his powers still concentrated on his fingers, he follows the sound inside. 

 

“Come back so soon, God of Mischief?  Something more you want to steal from me?”

 

Thor’s voice sounds ragged and low, and when Loki finds the source, his eyes open in surprise. Thor lies on the bed, shirtless, with pieces of his armour dotting the floor and a big pile of empty bottles around the bed. “Brother…”

 

A little stress ball was in Thor’s hand, and he throws it against the ceiling, again and again, the harder ones being the source of the sound Loki has heard from his room. “Say your piece and take your leave, Loki. I’m not in the mood to give you more than you have already taken.”

 

Loki’s heart fall to his feet. It has been a while since Thor has talked to him with so much pain and hate behind every word. He turned off his powers, shoulders sinking down. It is all his fault, as always, but this time he wants to amend it, but didn’t know how. “Can I come closer?”

 

“I don’t care. Just don’t touch me and you would leave this room in one piece.”

 

More angry words, painted with the stuttering of the alcohol he seems to have drank since he left the closet. Again, every word hits Loki like a physical punch, but he just endures it and moves closer, sitting beside the bed and looking intently to his brother. “Thank you, can’t ask for more.”

 

A tense silence grow between them, broken only by the sound of the ball hitting the ceiling, Thor keeping the movement even if it was now slower than before. After several minutes, he growls and throws the ball hard against the opposite wall, the loud sound startling Loki, who has been running different ways this conversation can go inside his head. When the trickster’s mouth open in surprise, his eyes finally focus on Thor, who is piercing him with his blue eye, “What do you want, Loki.”

 

Loki lowers his head, hiding himself behind the black curtain of his hair, “To say _‘I’m sorry’_ , for starters.”

 

“Sure.  As if you are really sorry about it.”

 

The words were harsh and sting like poisoned cuts.  It has been years since Thor has talked to him in that voice.  Not even after their father death or their little chat in Sakaar’s dungeon he sounded this bitter. “I am. I’m truly sorry. But I can see you will not accept my apologies and I have nothing more to give you beside my words. I’ll let you alone.”

 

Loki was on his knees ready to stand when Thor’s whisper reaches him, “Why have you done it?”

 

He has feared that question, but after what he has done to his brother, Loki has convinced himself that telling the truth was the only way out of this.  Letting his ass rest on his halves, he rests his  hands on his thighs and focuses his eyes anywhere but his brother. “The knowledge you have had a paramour important enough to make their name slip from your lips while being with another lover, it was-- well, even if we have grown apart for centuries now, you have always been my best friend, and I considered myself the same to you.  The discovery of that secret has hurt at first, and the curiosity took the best of me, as always.  I expected the name of one of your friends escaping your control.” A growl from the bed makes Loki eyes turn up to his brother, finding him with an arm covering his eyes. _‘I broke it again. A single touch of my magic and I burned down the bridge once more time.’_ Loki exhales slowly, mind already thinking on the places the battered Commodore can take him, “I guess  curiosity killed the cat again.” He was on his feet in no time, retreating to the door, “Don’t trouble yourself about it, Thor. I will take a few supplies and leave the Statesman as soon as I can. You don’t have to  deal with me anym--”

 

“No!” The strangled cry stops Loki’s hand midair before he can push the door open. “Don’t you dare. You promised to stay.”

 

The wall was cold when Loki leans against it, forehead resting on the metal surface, fingers tracing the strange lines of the Sakaaran decoration. “I know. But I promised to myself to never use my magic against you and here we are. It seems I will always be the God of Lies even if I want to change.”

 

“Don’t leave me again…”

 

Those words, said with so much pain behind them, is what makes Loki turn to face Thor, finding him sitting on the bed, his head lowered and hands hanging between his legs. The view makes Loki’s heart sinks even lower. How much pain can he bring to Thor’s life? And even now, after everything he has done, his brother is heartbroken thinking of him leaving his side. Before he can notice it, his feet move on Thor’s direction, until he is kneeling in front of him, hands itching to touch but refraining himself, “I will not. If you want me here, I’ll be here.”

 

“Good. I’m too old to keep tracking you down around the cosmos.” The humorous comment makes Loki gasp, “Then is settled, you will not run away from me again.  Now we only need time to think on what has happened and how to deal with it.”  Thor slides back over the sheets, resting his back on the wall and patting the bed beside him. “Come, Loki. And this time try to leave my memories alone.”

 

“Lesson learned, Thor.” Loki stands slowly just to crawl beside his brother, sitting close without touching him. He risks glances now and then, just to find Thor with his eye closed and head leaning on the wall. Several minutes pass with neither of them breaking the silence. 

 

Loki’s brain keeps repeating in a  loop the image of his brother coming undone with his name on his lips, and his treacherous body answers to it the same way than before. His blood runs hot inside his veins, and he needs to do something about it, but leaving Thor right now didn’t sound like the best idea.  Trying to distract himself, Loki focuses on his memories, trying to find the moment his brother has started  feeling that way about him. To his surprise, every memory he finds of their young days shows him a younger version of himself following his brother like a lovesick puppy. He  felt how his heart grew every time his brother praised him, how content he was when he hugged him, how warm his skin  felt every time his brother’s hand ended on his nape. A stupid thought popped on his brain, and even knowing it will be a very bad idea, it seems the only way to show him the strange reality they are living. “Can I show you something?” Thor just hums, keeping his eye closed, “Can I take your hand?” That makes Thor’s head turn lazily to face him, and Loki gives him a shy smile, “I promise I will take nothing more from you that you didn’t want to give me, brother. I know my word means like nothing at the moment but I swear it anyway.”

 

“I believe you. Just don’t make me regret it later.”

 

Loki’s hand slides timidly to where Thor’s one lays, slipping under it and letting his brother be the one who keeps the contact. “Close your eyes. You can stop it whenever you want just by raising your hand. Ready?” Thor squeezes his fingers as answer, closing his eye again and taking a deep breath. Loki conjures his powers, the green light surrounding him and tickling Thor. His brother smiles softly, the memories of the times his brother used his more bening magic on him raising to the front. But then his frown changes, when the images Loki is sending him took form. He can see himself standing on a side of the training yard, with the actual Loki beside him, their hands linked. Loki points to the central arena where a younger Thor is training with Fandral, “Those are from the days we stopped training together. I can’t remember who’s fault was, but we ended as apart as distant galaxies can be. And distant we are, but never too far away.” His finger points away from the central area to one of the side hallways, where a younger Loki lies resting on a column, eyes following the movements of the warriors on the arena. “Even if I lived perpetually on the shadow of your sun and moved through the darkness, unseen, I’ve never been too far from you, brother.” Another whirl of green light and they are on a banquet, with Thor sitting on the right side of Odin and Loki beside their mother. Thor was laughing loudly over something Volstagg said, his face alight with mead and happiness, and Loki was looking at them with a sad frown, his mother patting his hand lovingly. The younger Loki captures Frigga’s hand and kissed it before excusing himself and leaving the hall, shoulders lowered in defeat. “In those days we didn’t talk much. We said polite welcomes at day and night but almost stopped talking to one another. Well, you can imagine I didn’t take it as well as planned.” More green light, flashes of the Jotun attack, their visit to Jotunheim, Thor’s exile… Then darkness and Loki’s screams piercing the blackness make Thor’s finger tighten around Loki’s hand, until the sight of Nick Fury blurred  it out . The images of Midgard’s invasion moving in and out of range until they stood on Svartalfheim. More darkness until the green takes control again, and Thor can see himself on Earth with Jane, walking side by side under the stars on the desert. “Not even when you believe me death I can stay away from you.” Right then a snake jumps from its hiding spot behind a rock, making Jane scream and hide behind Thor. “And yes, that was me. Every time something bad happened to Jane those days was my doing. Sorry, not sorry.” The ghostly image of Thor in his mind smiled softly and Loki returns it before using his free hand to conjure more green light. “Last stop.” Sakaar’s scent filled their noses, and both grimace at it. Their ghost forms stand on a corner of Grandmaster’s box, with the crazy man sitting on a side of the couch while Loki sits on the other. In front of them, Thor is fighting with Hulk and winning the combat. The Grandmaster uses then his shaft to knock out Thor, and Hulk gets ready to finish him. Past Loki panics, seeing his brother lying on the ground while the green beast gets higher and higher. In a moment of weakness, he promises the Grandmaster to give him whatever he wants if he lets his brother live. The smugness on the crazy man’s face makes Thor’s grasp Loki’s hand harder. A tall hologram of the Grandmaster appears on the middle of the arena, stopping the fight before Hulk can kill Thor, and his unconscious form is dragged to the facilities while Loki is guided to a side room on the box, the Grandmaster’s lascivious grin makes something ugly grow on Thor’s stomach. Thor locks his gaze on Loki’s eyes and the trickster just shrugs, dismissing Thor’s worries with a bright smile, “A little sacrifice, and it worked pretty well, don’t you think? Anyway, let’s finish with something sweeter.” The green fog surrounds them again, and when it disappears, they are standing on a corner of Thor’s quarters, the scene in front of them was one they have stored in a very dear corner of their hearts. A big bear hug follows the _‘I’m here’_ from Loki, but Thor has never seen it from the outside. The way they melt into the other’s arm, how Loki’s eyes close in bliss before he buries his face on Thor’s neck, the wrinkles on his eyes showing he was smiling even if they can’t see it. And the thunderer is doing the same, an arm keeping Loki close while the free hand was buried on Loki’s locks, the loving grin on his face more than enough for them to know how happy he was.

 

When the green light shines again, they are back into room, still holding hands, with Loki breathing heavily, a mix of nerves and tiredness hitting him. Thor slides his fingers between Loki’s, securing the grasp. “That was--”

 

“Intense. I know.”

 

Thor turns to one side, leg bend under himself to face Loki, his hand still secured between his fingers, “Can I ask you a favor?”

 

“Whatever you want, brother.”

 

A lopsided grin appears on Thor’s face, “Show me what happened on the closet while you read my mind.”

 

The request makes Loki gasp. Why he wants to see it? What he expect to find there? But if Thor wants to see, Loki will show him. With a nod, he closes his eyes again, using the few energies he has to summon the memory. The next heartbeat, the darkness of the closet surrounds them, but Loki’s magic let them see clearly the two figures pressed against a wall. Loki’s face wears a stern frown, lips closed in a tight line and brows together. Soon his hand lands on Thor’s forehead and everything changes. Loki’s frown changes from concentration to surprise, then his mouth is open in a silent gasp, body tensing when the scene develops in front of his mind eyes. The  hand on Thor’s chest closes in a fist, fingers grabbing Thor’s tunic in a deathly grasp. His breathing grows quicker, and to Loki’s dismay, the bulge on his trousers is pretty obvious from where they stand. Then he broke the spell, and Thor stormed from the closet in fury, leaving a weakened Loki alone.

 

Thor frees Loki’s hand, and the spell dissipates, leaving them again on the bed sitting side by side. Loki’s eyes avoid Thor as much as possible, knowing what he has seen, because he has seen it too and his face is burning with shame. The voice of the thunderer sounds tired while he lays back on the wall, “What a pair of idiots we are, huh?”

 

“Talk about yourself. I’m just an expert of lying to myself.” They both laugh to the stupid joke as they haven’t done together in years. And then, Loki’s heart takes the reins of his brain and he returns his hand under Thor’s fingers, “But  maybe I’m tired of it.”

 

“I know you really don’t want this, brother.”

 

“Thor…” Loki frees his hand only to cup his brother’s face, forcing him to  look into his eyes, “Brother, I made a lot of things unwillingly  in my long life. But right here, right now, I will accept whatever you want to give me. I want you, I want it all, yet I know I didn’t deserve it. Throw me the crumbs of your affection and I will be happy with them.”

 

A sigh is Thor’s answer, his face leaning even more on the soft and warm hand, “You have been in my mind, Loki. You know what I want. I just fear it will take you away from me again.”

 

“I will not lie to you, Thor. It never crossed my mind until now. The way my body reacts to you has been like a second nature to me and I never gave a second thought about it. You have always made my body  feel alive like no other, calmed my mind, quickened my heartbeat.” He slides his hand from Thor’s face to his shoulder, moving closer until his breath is caressing his brother’s beard, “The moment you left that closet I forced myself to review closely my own memories, finding my younger self pretty mesmerised by you. Now I can see I covered my feelings in lies again.” He nuzzles his nose with Thor’s, soft smile plastered on his face when he moves slightly away, enough to lock their gazes again. “You need more proofs? Do you remember how I treated Sif the day she bet with you for a kiss and won? Her hair was a little price to pay for stealing that from you. Or Jane… I didn’t miss her, not a bit.” Thor snorts at that, knowing pretty well how cold Loki has always been with his lovers and paramours. “We can make a promise, if you want, to forget anything that happened today and never talk about it again, I can even erase those memories from our minds. But if oblivion would be our goal, I want to embrace it with the warmth of your lips on mine.  If we have to surrender the chance… If I will only have it just once, let it be sweet as Idun's apples, something the heart will remember even if the mind can’t.”

 

The words were barely a whisper at the end, but sounded powerful in the surrounding silence. Thor’s face has twisted from worry to surprise with every one of them, his heartbeat spiking, a wild horse running inside his chest. They can forget it, keep their lives moving as they have been. But having the chance to kiss Loki, the real one, not the one conjured by his heart over the form of every lover he has had… it was a chance he can’t pass. His hand raises to find a new home on Loki’s nape, pushing him closer, and closer, and closer, until their lips almost touch. “Just a kiss.” And then all thoughts laid forgotten when their lips finally touch. 

 

Those warm lips welcome Thor’s like an old friend. They were softer and plumper than he never imagined. He was so focused on their locked lips he didn’t register their bodies moving to lie down until his back was touching the sheets. Loki’s lithe body lays completely over him, their hearts beating at unison under the layers of clothes. As Loki asked for, the kiss was sweet as honey, their lips molding perfectly, with Thor’s beard tickling Loki in an enticing way, and Loki’s soft skin making Thor’s tingle. Mouths move in a practiced dance, with butterfly touches, following the line of the other’s mouths while loving hands caress whenever they can reach. But before neither of them can deepen the kiss, Loki’s breaks it, His head grows dizzy, his body trembling with want, but they need to think about it, because if they keep going for a single second more, there will be no turn back. With a broken voice, he whispers the next words, resting his forehead on Thor’s, “I asked for a sweet kiss, and you gave me the sweetest one I ever had. Thank you. We both need to think about it before we do something we can regret later. Come to my room whenever you are ready, whichever decision you will make, I will support it.” And with a last effort to his depleted energies, he teleports himself away from his brother’s arms into the security of his room.

 

The dark green blanket called Loki with a siren’s song, but he needs to focus. First, he need to eat something because he will may need his powers later. With some effort he walks to the cupboard where he has stored some nasty cookies Korg has made. They didn’t  look good, or taste good either, but are full of energy and it was exactly what he needs. With the cookies on hand, he picks up a bottle of a golden sweet liquor he favoured and walked back to the bed, storing the bottle between his legs when he sits with his back on the wall. As soon as is settled, the memories of the kiss come back to him, making him blush and giggle, fingers tracing the curve of his lips. This morning he has only the loss of Asgard and the shadow of Thanos pursuing him on his mind, then the closet happened, and his world has turned upside down in the blink of an eye. His brother loves him. No, scratch him, his brother _‘wants’_ him, **WANT** with caps, in a way he never suspected about it. And to his surprise, he has been harbouring the same feelings, covered by layer after layer of brotherly love and respect, salted with a bit of envy, of course. Yet the discovery has come with a price, one he has swear to the Gods to not make again, betraying his brother’s confidence. Thor must decide what he wants to do with the knowledge he now has. Just in case, Loki conjures back one of his spell books, searching the one he needs while munching on the cookie on his hand. He will be ready by the time Thor pays him a visit.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

A knock on the door surprises Loki half an hour later. The cookies have long gone, but the bottle is half full still and he worries to spill it over the covers when he jumps startled. The hissing sound of the hydraulic system of the door makes him move his eyes away from the book, even knowing perfectly who could  be. Only two person on this ship beside him have the privileges to enter his quarters, and he was sure Heimdall was sitting on the prow of the Statesman. Thor stays at the door with a worried frown, hand playing with the vambraces’ cords. With a deep breath, Loki forces the word to flow, “Come on, brother. I have the spell ready if you want it.”

 

Thor locks the door behind him, moving shyly to the bed while Loki puts the book and the bottle on the nightstand. “Well, I thought about your proposal.” The trickster slides to one side of the big bed, leaving Thor space to sit. He does it, capturing Loki’s hand between his.  Tracing the curve of the knuckles with his thumb, he lowers his face, avoiding the piercing green eyes locked on, his voice merely a whisper when he finally talks, “I don’t want to forget.”

 

The sound of Loki moving on the bed preludes the hand slipping away of Thor’s hands, making him sigh sadly. The next heartbeat Loki is cupping his brother’s face, forcing him to  look at him, “Me neither, brother mine.  In fact I want hundreds of new memories with you.”

 

“Are you sure about it? This will change us forever.”

 

“ Maybe .” Loki leans closer, his hands keeping Thor’s face in place, “But after everything we have survived to reach this point, don’t you think we can endure a change for good for once? Don’t you think we deserve it?”

 

Thor’s arms are around Loki before he can finish talking, throwing him to the bed and pinning him there with all his body, “Brother, I will walk this path with you blindfolded if necessary.”

 

A low chuckle escapes Loki before he uses his magic to turn them until he is the one on top, “That, my dear brother, can be arranged. We have a long life to review all those kinky dreams I’m sure you have had about me, don’t you think?”

 

Thor snorts and pinches Loki’s side playfully, “Brat.”

 

“And you love me, anyway.”

 

A big hand pulls Loki closer, until their lips are almost touching, “Yes. I love it. And I love you, every side of you, even the edges and the darkness.” Loki huffs and rolls his eyes as he always does, but Thor didn’t give him time to retort, “Let me show you.” And this time, when they kiss, their very souls join, because the kiss is the first of their new life and fills them with a time forgotten hope.


End file.
